and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
