You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
