i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
