He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
