Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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