I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
