I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
