I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
