absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
