Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
