youre lurking in front of me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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