his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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