they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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