Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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