Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
