You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
