Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
