You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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