Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dicks are not precious.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
