the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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