clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize