Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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