do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize