Whod you bang
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
