i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
