she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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