yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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