so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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