you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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