You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
