just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
