She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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