My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
