the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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