Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize