and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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