Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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