dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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