And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
