When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
