I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
