I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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