Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
