it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
