Already got asked if we're dating
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
