I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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