I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
