i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
