Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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