so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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