she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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