I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
