I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
