I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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