literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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