She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
