OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His nipple licking is glorious
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