just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
