We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
