So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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