So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
