btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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